Mack is Back!

Mack is Back!

Earlmyer wins re-election campaign

(November 16th, 2017 Kesnukwon Bay) In a landslide victory this past week, former conservative MP Mack Earlmyer regained his seat as representative of the Greater Kesnukwon Bay Area. Upon hearing the news Earlmyer seemed pleased but not at all surprised, “That’s the way it goes. The people want an encore.”

Earlmyer took a brief hiatus this past summer after falling ill from ‘contaminated seafood’, having abruptly resigned from his position and handing it off to his successor local accountant, Jim Beanman.

All seemed lost for the conservatives in Kesnukwon without Earlmyer as he was the youngest candidatefor the party in all its history. “He’s a spry young man, he really brings new life to The [Kesnukwon] Bay and the party” said local Edith Franz who lives close to the legion.

Earlmyer’s absence cast doubt in the minds of voters as Beanman failed to pick up the slack. Liberal Candidate Jacque LeFoix began his own campaign trail by visiting failing businesses in the area and promising unrealistic government support.

“We don’t need new ideas,” said LeFoix “We need to support these family businesses that are suffering here.”

Needless to say, LeFoix wasn’t popular with much of Kesnukwon’s population but he was much more interesting than Beanman. Though it is suspected that may be because of the accent.

But in a shocking twist to the campaign trail, Beanman himself fell ill to a similar sickness and Earlmyer, having worked through the symptoms and persevered, took up the campaign and the rest is Kesnukwon history.

Earlmyer’s platform focused on his “New Business” program, seeking to bring large budget operations to the area and employ a huge percentage of the population.

“Were just glad to have him back on the reigns,” said Joel Cormier, a gas station attendant on the 04.

When asked about his and Beanman’s health, Earlmyer promised to launch an investigation into the contaminations in the Kesnukwon Bay, though he made no indication it was a result of runoff or other chemicals that may be harmful to humans.

“Understandably the Fisherman are our priority in Kesnukwon, We’re simply reinstating Catch Maximums until we can solve the problem,” Earlmyer’s office told the Gill, “Until such time as Kesnukwon’s food is safe again, we will be shipping additional stock from out of town with the gracious help of Kolossal Fisheries.”

Howard Trent, The Daily Gill.

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